stuff.....

I'm getting very lazy in my post titles. If anyone has suggestions, feel free.

So we ended up with 3 embryos. From the egg donor there were seven eggs designated for my IP's. Three of those didn't fertilize, one did but abnormally, and the remaining three fertilized (with my IF's sperm) just fine. We got the OK to transfer two embryos and that's what happened yesterday.

We had to travel a bit of a distance, and in the past, this trip has taken Man and I 3 hours. 1 1/2 hours spent on one 7 mile stretch.. going FIVE MILES PER HOUR. I joke you not. Plus, I was always in agony with my required full bladder. We always went during the work week. This time we got to go on a Saturday. Man insisted the trip would be much shorter. Was it ever. We left our house at 7:07AM and I signed in with the receptionist at 8:35AM. Weird dude. Well... I signed in on the wrong floor but whatever. I still made it in the building in record time.

I didn't have to be there until 9:30 with a 10AM appointment. Why I needed to be there thirty minutes early is beyond me. It hasn't ever taken me, in my entire life, 30 minutes to remove my pants and underwear. Honest. So, I get to the proper floor and check in again, and then hop in the chair farthest from people cause I'm all anti-social and get out my book. There were only two other couples in there, and being the nosy ass I am, I couldn't concentrate on my book. Instead, I'm busy trying to figure out are these people here for a transfer? Are they here for an egg retrieval? Is that dude going to go "leave a sample" in a cup? I want to know. I'm nosey.

Within roughly 10 minutes of sitting down, I'm called back. By 9:05 I'm sitting bare ass on the table waiting for the doctor to come in. I'm still sitting there forty minutes later. Listen, I'm all for having patience, but that usually works better when I'm fully clothed. I fiddled with the ultrasound machine, I twirled the stool, I attempted to peak under the cover over the instruments but I was afraid they'd make me wait longer to sanitize everything again. My book was in my purse but I had put it on the chair which was not within easy reach. Of course. Being quite accustomed to Murphy's Law, I opted to remain seated instead of pointing my butt skyward while I reached for my purse. I knew it would be at that moment the Doctor would enter the room... behind me.

Finally the doctor came in. After going over the embryos quality and what not, I assumed the butt-in-the-air position. Really makes me wonder why I didn't just grab my book earlier. What happened next almost made me laugh out loud. He said "I'm going to touch you down there" and "I'm now inserting the speculum into your vagina". Dude, WTF? Just do it. LOL Obviously, being a woman in my mid thirties, I'm aware of the area a gynecologist and especially a fertility doctor specializes in. Now should I be at the podiatrist and feel a speculum in my vagina, yes, in that case I'm going to have cause for alarm.

Here comes a breakdown of what transpired next, in real honest to goodness medical jargon. I swear......

He inserted a tube thing into my cervix, a nurse brought in a syringe like thingy with the two embryos in it and put it to the end of the tube thing. She then squirted the embryos in their embryo goo into the tube. Next they removed the tube to make sure there were no embryos stuck in it. And sure enough one had remained in the tube thing. Which meant we had to do it all over again, all the way back to the speculum assault. That time the sticky bugger came out of the tube thing.

Afterward, I had to lie there for five minutes. I have no idea why. I can only speculate at this time, and here's what I've come up with. After they shoot the embryos into the uterus, and pull the tube thing out, the embryos try to escape. Apparently, my laying flat on my back makes my uterus tilt in such a position that the legless and armless embryos are unable to scale Mount Uterus and make their way to the opening of the cervix. Meanwhile, the opening of the cervix, which has been stretched open a bit by the tube thing, slowly slams shut again, and it only takes five minutes to do so. Defeated, the embryos return to the back part of the uterus where they begin to devise another escape route. Only this one takes nine months to complete. It's just a theory.

I need to interject here a bit... because Man's uncle died on Wednesday, we were unable to leave one child with Man's mother. It wasn't an issue, so Man just dropped me off and he took the kids to find something to do. They ended up at the Burger King down the road which thankfully had a play place. A yard sale was also a part of their tour.

So as I'm getting ready to leave, I text Man to let him know I'm ready. I get down to the lobby, take a chair, and wait. After a minute I decide to call, thinking it may take a bit for the text to reach him. No answer, but his voice mail picks up. I text again. I call again. By this time I'd been waiting over 20 minutes. Finally I see them pull into the front and make their way around to the back parking lot. I head out to meet them, and Man is laughing as he pulls up. "I thought you were going to call" he says. "Uh, I called and texted you four times". His phone was OFF. Dumbass.

We somehow made it home yet again in record time. I was now officially on "bedrest" for 24 hours. Basically I got to do legitimately what I do everyday; which is lay around and fool on the computer. I was to stay on the couch or in bed, getting up only to go to the bathroom. Mission accomplished. I did get bored horribly, which is weird. When there's things I need to get up and do and just don't want to, I can be the worlds best lazy ass. But if I CAN NOT get up... it's all I want to do.

Today I opted to extend my bed rest. You know, to be on the safe side.